Library Misadventures

Background Info: Paid $30 for a PLAC (Public Library Access Card) so we're able to use any library in the state.
Reason: We live 7 minutes from a library which we are not allowed to use because we live on the wrong side of the tracks. We live 25 minutes from our county library.

Now on with the post:

Today we went to the library nearest our home. There is never anyone in the library except the librarian. She just sits behind her desk waiting for patrons who rarely come in. It has the potential for a Stephen King book. It is a brand new library in a very nice, new building with about 300 books that are about 100 years old. It still has a paper card catalog. It is housed in one room with a librarian desk about 8 foot from the front door. On one side of her desk is the "Children's Library" (I use that title loosely) and the other side is the adult side. I was looking at books while my children ages 9, 6, and 3 were looking at books and playing on the large structure decorated like a pirate ship. The 3 year old picked up a "Clifford" dog that made a barking noise off of one of the shelves. Of course, he pressed the button to make the dog bark about 10 times in a row. By this time, a young man probably 19 or 20 had walked in to the library to use the internet. I took the three year old across the library to look for a certain book on the adult side. My three year old was still happily playing with "Clifford". The librarian stood and walked over to where we were standing and asked my son if he could pretend that "Clifford" was taking a nap because there were "other's" using the internet and we needed to be quiet. I looked for the "off" button, but there wasn't one, so I had to trust that he wouldn't push the button anymore. The young man got up from his chair and walked out of the library. We walked the 12 steps back over to the "Children's Library". I see my daughter frantically picking up white chunks of what appeared to be chalk off of the floor. One of the flags off of the pirate ship had been housed in a beer "coozie" with plaster of paris in it to hold the flag up. Well, it fell and broke into a million pieces. I decided it was time to go. I took her and the three year old to the librarian's desk to leave our books and to ask for a broom. I explained that she had knocked over the flag. She insisted that she would clean it up. I told her I was happy to do it, but she stated that she would need to vacuum it up. (What is this 'vacuum' you speak of? That concept is unfamiliar to me) She then proceeded to ask me how old my oldest son was. I stated that he was nine. I asked her why she was asking, thinking that there might possibly be a program at the library for kids his age. She then says to me, "The library has a policy to not leave children under a certain age unattended." So I in return say to her, "So what you're saying is that I shouldn't have left those two over there while I walked across the room to look at another book." She says to me, "Well, we really can't see them over there and there are a lot of displays and things." Keep in mind that my children were within 12 feet of me. I said to her, "You know the thing that she knocked over is on the children's play area right?"
She says to me, "Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about."
OK. Glad we had this little talk. This woman made me feel like I dropped them off at the library and ran to Starbucks for a latte! I could feel my heart beating fast and my face turning red. My judgment and good sense had been called into question in the one-room, empty library with the lone librarian and 300, 100 year old books! I had violated their "policy" and left my child out of arm's reach. I need invisible fencing so I know where my boundaries are. I clearly cannot be trusted.

Something I read today

"There was a man all alone;
he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
yet his eyes were not content with
his wealth.
"For whom am I toiling," he asked,
"and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?"
This too is meaningless-
a miserable business!

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for
their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they
will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly
broken.
Ecclesiastes 5:8-12

Thank you Lord, for a loving husband and wonderful family and friends who lift me up. Thank you for helping me to realize that I wasn't meant to do this alone.

The Six Pack

I was in the dining room working on something when my oldest comes out of the bathroom and says to me, "Mom, you can have a 2 pack, a 4 pack, or a 6 pack. I told Jeremy that I have an 8 pack and he said 'you can't have an 8 pack' ." Here's how the rest of the conversation went:

me: "Is this something for a video game? I really have no idea what your talking about."
(At our home, we routinely begin conversations without prefacing them, just to keep everyone guessing)
OS: " No, I'm talking about muscles!" (of course)
me: "Oh, I see. Does Jeremy have a '6 pack'?"
OS: "Yeah, but so do I."
me: "Let me see."

He precedes to lift up his shirt and squish down his cute little belly. Well, let's just say, he takes after his momma and he has more of a 'case'. How do I gently tell him the news without a future therapy bill? I told him that most people don't have '6 packs' and that those who do are just really, really little or they have to do lots of exercise to get them. He stand there with an animal cracker hanging out of his mouth and starts jogging in place. Yes, son, that is precisely how one gets the '6pack' that you speak of.

School Mascot

We were driving in a nearby town this afternoon when my daughter made a casual observation that all of the street signs were purple and had a bulldog on them. I explained to her that the bulldog was the local high school's mascot. Our children are home educated, so the concept is a little foreign. But I thought maybe they'd like to have a mascot. I asked the kids what our mascot should be. My daughter excitedly screams, "DADDY!!!"

Funny!

All Boy

We pretty much have our kids figured out. Yep, we're awesome like that. Our oldest is going to be a missionary, our middle child will be in the performing arts, and our youngest will either be a stuntman or a comedian. He's only two so we can't quite categorize him. Maybe he'll be both. Yesterday, I caught him standing tip-toe on a barstool, clad only in a diaper and pajama top, scooping icing from the top of a piece of cake with a hotwheel and licking it off of the car. When I said, "What are you doing?"(in my best surprised mother voice) He replied,"Nuffing" with the biggest grin on his face, sparkle in his eye, and a mischievous giggle. He clamored down and ran off to perform his next act while I rinsed pink icing off of the hood scoop.

Wun Fow Youw Wives!

Hewe awe a few of my favowite things my two yeaw owd says:

Wincoln Wogs
When asked about his favowite pawt of Gweat Woof Wodge, he said:
"The Wazy Wivew" (The Lazy River)
I Wove you!
When playing "Staw Waws" with his bwothew and neighbow boy:
"Wun Fow Youw Wives!!" (Run for Your Lives)
"Mama, wiww you pway 'Wight Sabews' wif me?" (Light Sabers)

Can I bottle this time?

Misunderstanding

My children will sit for hours and draw on scrap paper. One day, I asked my daughter what she was drawing. She informed me that she was drawing pictures of me. I didn't ask to see them and went on about my day. While I was making dinner, I stumbled across this:

Wow! I started thinking about the day. Had I yelled at them for something? Am I that menacing? This is an outrage and completely unjustified? Mature, huh? I marched into her room and asked her if this was the picture she drew of Mama? She said, "No, silly. That's a girl T-Rex! This one is you!"

Did I mention I really love that little girl?

Jesus Loves Me

Last weekend, we went to Pizza Hut to celebrate my sister-in-law's birthday. My sister-in-law is 16 years younger than my husband. She's 19 and... well, he's not. All of the adults were eating and our older two asked if they could go look at the jukebox. Of course, that's not what they call it because anyone born after 1985 doesn't know what a "jukebox" is. Normally we don't allow our children to run amok in public places, but the place almost empty except for one other family who had three little boys. Those three little boys were playing with our kids at the jukebox. For about ten minutes, my daughter was trying to type in a song and the boys would hit the "delete" button when she would get near the end. She let her irritation be known to everyone as is her style. But she was persistent. She kept trying and trying and still saying, "Ugh" (Charlie Brown style) each time. Finally, I went over to see what was going on. She was typing in , "Jesus Loves Me" and couldn't understand why that song wasn't in the jukebox. I really love that little girl.

Overheard

My son and our neighbor boy were playing the other day. I overheard their conversation about a young girl in our neighborhood. This girl has some spunk (this is a nice way of saying "crazy"). She is about the size of a 4 year old, but she's 9, so she has to keep her defenses up. Here's how the conversation went.
(NB=neighbor boy, MS=my son)
NB: "She is soooo mean!"
MS: "She's not that bad."
NB: "No, she's mean!"
MS: " I bet she wouldn't hurt a fly."
NB: "Hurt a fly! Heck, I bet she'd kill a cat!"

Merry Christmas

Well, the last of the Christmas gatherings was held today at our home. Our guests were supposed to arrive inbetween 2:30 and 3. So everyone rolled in around 4:45... These are a few things I overheard during the day....

Comments about parenting...

As we were discussing the details of a 14 year old family member who had been caught drinking..."Well, it doesn't matter what you two shove down their throat, those kids are going to do what they want to and make their own decisions about religion." Always a pleasure

Comments about the menu...from the very hard-of-hearing.....in a very loud voice...

"You know, if she'd put some instant potatoes in this soup, it'd thicken up better." Thank you

Comments about what one should get for Christmas..."Well, I really wanted the Pineapple bread, but instead I got the Chocolate Zuchinni bread. I absolutely HATE Chocolate Zuchinni Bread! The label said 'Pineapple Bread', but I opened it up and it was Chocolate Zuchinni Bread!! I really hate Chocolate Zuchinni Bread" Hey do you hate Chocolate Zuchinni Bread? By the way, how many times can we say 'Chocolate Zuchinni Bread' in one sentence. There ought to be a limit.

Comments about how one should educate their children...

"How many children are in your class?"

oldest child: "2"

"2!?!"

"Yeah, me and her. We're homeschooled." (saying with a nonchalant tone, like everyone else in the world is and it's not a big deal)

"Do you follow any state guidelines? Do you think they'll have any trouble catching up if you put them in "regular" school? " No, I think their classmates should do just fine.

"Well, Grandma...She's reading independently at 5."

" So was I!.... .(78 years ago, sibling to 19...yes I said 19)

I felt like Clark Griswold today. Dreams of a new pool and a happy family Christmas....Jelly-of-the-month club!

Fun

A Fun MeMe (A.K.A. ... a stolen post from Judy!) :D
And I stole it from Mical...

In your entire life, have you ever ...........
gone on a blind date? .... Once, against my will. I thought I was going to the movies with my friend, she had other plans for me.
skipped school? .... Yes
watched someone die ? .... Yes. Too many times.
been to Canada? .... No
been to Mexico? .... No.
been to Florida? .... Yep.
had your booze taken away by the cops? ....Not lately. Just kidding. No.
lettered in high school sport? ....a couple
cried yourself to sleep? .... Yes..many times.
played cops and robbers? ....Yes!!
played dolls? .... Yeah. :/ .... I was such a tomboy growing up ... how is it that I loved Barbies so much? "Ditto" for me Mical.
sung Karaoke? .... No
done something you said you wouldn't? .... Oh, yes. Too many times.
cheated on an exam? .... Yes. But I didn't realize it. A friend of mine had the class the semester before and she gave me some "old tests" to study. I barely glanced at the first one and went to take the test. It was the exact same test. So the next test came around and I barely glanced at the "practice test" because I thought, "Surely it wouldn't be the exact same test twice in a row!" Alas, I was wrong.
made prank phone calls? .... Yes, when I was 12.
laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose? .... YES! Not good with carbonated beverages. It hurst!
caught a snowflake on your tongue? .... Every winter. :)
danced in the rain? .... YES!!! It is so much fun! You MUST try it!
written a letter to Santa Clause? .... I'm sure when I was in elementary school.
watched the sunrise with someone you care about? .... Yes!
been kissed under the mistletoe? ....Who needs mistletoe!? I'm married!
Ever been arrested? .... Nope
....blown bubbles? .... Oh, yeah! As a child...but nothing beats blowing bubbles with your own children.
gone ice-skating? .... Yes, I love ice skating.
been skinny dipping outdoors? ....No..well maybe when i was 5 in my grandma's back yard. does that count?
had a nickname? .... Boo
been to Africa? .... Nope
eaten cookies for dinner? .... I don't think so ... but yummy!
been on TV? .... No
been in a car accident? .... Yep.
What is your Mother's name? .... better not say, you know the witness protection program and all! Just kidding!
favorite drink? .... Diet Coke or sweet tea (too hard to choose)
favorite alcohol? .... I don't drink alcohol very much, but I like some red wines.
birthplace? .... Indy
favorite vacation spot? .... anywhere with my family
favorite salad dressing? .... ranch.
favorite pie? .... Apple pie
favorite number? ....3
favorite movie? ....Stand By Me
favorite holiday? .... Christmas.
favorite food? .... Pot roast, potatoes, and carrots
day of the week? .... Sunday -
favorite brand of body wash? .... No favorite
favorite toothpaste? .... Whatever's in the drawer
favorite smell? ....baby powder
Do you have any tattoos? .... Nope.
body piercings? .... Ears
Do you drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? .... 4 doors. 12 passenger van, baby.
What do you do to relax...I have 3 children and a husband. The word is not in my vocabulary.
How do you see yourself in 10 years? .... Loving the Lord, following Him, trusting Him...The parent of an 18 year old, almost 16 year old and 12 year old. married to the love of my life. running marathons...climbing mountains...we;ll see! Well, that was fun! You all should copy and paste this ... and add it to your blog! :D

Thankful

A Few Things I'm Thankful For....

my salvation in Christ the Lord.

a messy house filled with children running and laughing (and sometimes fighting)

a smile from my youngest first thing in the morning with a greeting of, "Hi Momma" with so much enthusiasm. Like he hadn't seen me for days.

how God has given them each their own personalities and hearts for Him.

my husband and how he has given himself up for me.

the love of my family.

that my mom survived and was completely restored so many years ago.

that I had a grandmother who prayed.

my church family.

watching my Grandpa dance with my niece yesterday.

listening to my dad sing.

my sisters and their families.

my mother-in-law who is my biggest fan.

that I'm an American.

for God's creation.

that I have so many examples of godly men and women in my life.

that my oldest wants to be a missionary when he grows up (and a superhero!)

that my daughter has a helpful spirit and reminds me that she's watching me each and every day!

that God forgives and shows grace and mercy to me EVERY DAY.

for our soldiers who sacrifice so that you and I can be free.

for God's sovereignty.

that people love me enough to take the time to read this list.


*I am thankful for so much more and cannot put it into words for fear that my tears of joy and thankfulness will short out this keyboard and cause an electrical fire which would be bad and yes, I know this is a run-on sentence.

"Be joyful always. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Frugal Cleaning

I really enjoy cleaning. I also enjoy saving money. I thought I'd share a few things I've tried recently that have made cleaning easier and saved money. First off, I invested in some microfiber cleaning cloths. You can get 4 large cloths for $3 at your local Family Dollar. These cloths are so large, I cut them in half. I use these cloths for all of my cleaning. They can be used for dusting, cleaning showers, mirrors....pretty much everything. I use one of the cut cloths and attach it to my "Swiffer". It works even better than the disposable cloths you pay $5 for. These cloths are amazing at removing soap scum. My showers get so smooth you have to be careful next time you get in. The next product I have recently been made aware of is lemon oil. I use it to dust and polish. You can use it to clean stainless steel. I also put a thin coat on the clean shower walls and fixtures. It can extend the time between cleanings. DO NOT PUT IT ON THE SHOWER FLOOR! Now on to the laundry. I started making my own laundry detergent. According to the recipe I use, it costs about $.01/load compared to "Tide" at $.25/load. It smells great and softens the load. I also started buying liquid fabric softener, putting it in a recycled spray bottle, and spraying it on one of my socks from the "Home for Wayward Socks" bag. I dilute the softener with an equal amount of water. I've had the same bottle of fabric softener for months and months. Here's the recipe for the laundry detergent:
1 c. grated Fels Naptha
1/2 c. Arm & Hammer Washing Soda
1/2 c. Mule Team Borax

I grate the bar soap with an old cheese grater and put all of the ingredients in a recycled ice cream bucket with a lid. You use 2 tbsp per load. All of the ingredients are available at Kroger. I hope anyone who reads this finds this helpful. For other hints, try out:
http://www.everydaycheapskate.com/
http://www.soapsgonebuy.com/
http://www.womansday.com/

Be Careful Little Ears What You Hear

My middle child is intensely funny. She keeps me in stitches and provides a heapin' helping of what I call "blog fodder". We were out of town a couple of weeks ago. The morning we were leaving the hotel to come home, we caught the end of the movie "Evan Almighty". Pretty cute movie. A few days after we came home, the kids and I went to the grocery store. I always park right by the "Cart Corral". This allows me to park my behemoth van with no fear that anyone will park beside me and we all have to enter through the drivers side and also none of my children will fall out of the vehicle and the door will not bang into one of my husband's patient's brand new white Cadillac! Not to mention any names (mason). After our shopping trip, I loaded up the van with kids and groceries and went to put the cart away. An elderly man with a long white beard is also putting his cart away right beside our van. I hear my daughter say, in her best news reporter voice, "The Weirdo with the Beardo". You know how you try to act like "whose kids are those and where is their mother?". Didn't work out so well. My two year old is smiling and waving at me. After I stopped secretly laughing, I gently informed my daughter that was not a nice thing to say. I got the usual and customary, "I'm sorry. I didn't know." Why do children pick out the most obscure things from something they've seen or heard and use them at the most inopportune times?

Aggravation

Has anyone ever received a gift for your child that is age inappropriate? My son received a board game for his third birthday that said on the box "ages 6 &up" . We put it up in the top of his closet hoping he wouldn't notice. That boy looked longingly up into the top of that closet for three years! "Why can't I play this game?" "When can I play this game?" Finally, the long awaited 6th birthday arrives. Boy gets to play game. Wouldn't you know it? It was a regift! Half of the marbles were gone! We could not play the game! Isn't that life sometimes? We put our hopes in something other than God. "This will make me happy." " If only I could do this, then I'd be fulfilled!" Only to be letdown when we finally get what we coveted. Oh, and by the way, the game was "Aggravation".

Finders Keepers

I love how enormous daily events are when you are a kid. My daughter was helping me make my bed the other day. When we shook out the covers, a penny flew out & hit the floor. She gleefully picked it up and said, "Finders keepers, losers weepers!" I smiled at her and we continued on with our day. Later on, we were in the kitchen making dinner and she dropped her penny. She screamed, "My Penny!!!" and dove on this thing like she had fumbled at the Super Bowl! It was a sight to see. She did beat both of her brothers to the penny, though.

Competitive

I'm learning a great deal about myself these days. Not all of it good. Apparently, I am a sexist and a hypocrite. Great!!!That being said, I'll begin to explain the events that have lead up to this great revelation. I'm sure I will lose a few style points on this one, but after all, recognizing the problem is the first step to recovery. A little background: I am a married, mother of 3( 2 boys/1 girl), thirty-something, former college athlete. My oldest is playing tackle football for the first time this year. He is the second biggest kid on the team and what they call a "striper" (he has a stripe on his helmet that indicates he is too big to run the ball for fear he might kill/maim someone). The problem is he runs like Shaggy off of Scooby Doo, but slower. He has an unbelievably tender heart and does not have an agressive bone in his body. I get so frustrated with him just out there messing around. I cannot watch practices because I'm afraid I will be charged with "facemasking" or "unnecessary roughness". It has brought out this primal instinct in me. I have to fight every urge not to yell, "Come on!" and "Hustle". The 'h' word is not in the vocabulary. I'm not one of those parents who thinks my son is going to be my meal ticket and get a college scholarship (this pretty much confirms it), but I do expect my children to give 100% effort. My mother-in-law was at one of my son's football games and was talking about how much my youngest son loves to dance and sing (he's 2). She said that we should think about putting him in tap dancing or ballet. I muttered under my breath (or so I thought) "Over my dead body!" She was appalled and called me a sexist. She explained to me that there is nothing effeminate about tap dancing and ballet. I have a male friend who does clogging, which is similar but he doesn't use "jazz hands". I have never once considered clogging effeminate. I also know a couple of male ballet dancers and I don't think they are effeminate. I'm not sure what my problem is. The third and most condemning piece of evidence came about earlier this week. My husband and I were watching, "America's Got Talent". The performer was a male baton twirler. Impressive, yes. Would I want my son to take it up? No.
Now comes the reason I'm a hypocrite. I played on the boy's baseball team in high school because my school did not have a fast pitch softball team and I wanted to play in college. I never once thought that anyone would question my femininity/sexuality.
Before I lose all style points, I will clarify this for you. I love my children intensely and will not be disappointed if they choose music/art over sports. As long as they don't pick up a baton. Unless it's in the 400M relay!

My Songbird

Anyone who has a child who puts her life to song will appreciate this. My 5 year old daughter spends most of her days pretending and playing and making up songs to go along with whatever she is doing. It truly is a delight. But, as with anything that happens day after day, it can also get somewhat annoying. I tune out most things. This past weekend, we stopped off at the local hardware store. It was a quick trip, so my husband went in alone while we waited in the car. A minivan pulls up beside us. Out comes an elderly gentlemen about as round as he was tall. The song she was currently singing was interrupted by, "I don't think that man is gonna fit in that door!"(set to music of course). It took every fiber of my being to not bust out in laughter!

Funny Freckles in Black & White

Some of my friends are emailing back and forth funny things their children say. I love reading them. It gets me thinking, "do my kids ever say anything funny?" Then I think, "everything they say is funny!" Anyway, here are a couple good ones:

My oldest who is almost 8:

We've been watching the old Star Wars movies with him and getting out all of the old school action figures. I was telling him about one of the movies we hadn't watched together yet. I was so excited to talk with him about something that I was also interested in. Halfway through the conversation, he looks up at me and says, "Mom, were you alive in the gray and white?" Translation: Were you alive when there was no color in the world and everything was black and white?

My five year old daughter:

We were outside playing and she was sitting in the grass. Some little gnats were flying around and landing on her and then taking off again. She said to me, "Hey, one of my freckles is flying around!!".

Too cute!