Funny Freckles in Black & White

Some of my friends are emailing back and forth funny things their children say. I love reading them. It gets me thinking, "do my kids ever say anything funny?" Then I think, "everything they say is funny!" Anyway, here are a couple good ones:

My oldest who is almost 8:

We've been watching the old Star Wars movies with him and getting out all of the old school action figures. I was telling him about one of the movies we hadn't watched together yet. I was so excited to talk with him about something that I was also interested in. Halfway through the conversation, he looks up at me and says, "Mom, were you alive in the gray and white?" Translation: Were you alive when there was no color in the world and everything was black and white?

My five year old daughter:

We were outside playing and she was sitting in the grass. Some little gnats were flying around and landing on her and then taking off again. She said to me, "Hey, one of my freckles is flying around!!".

Too cute!

Bedtime Prayers

I love to listen to my daughter pray. She is my only child who likes to pray "with words". Meaning she likes to pray out loud. My oldest likes to pray "without words" because God knows what he's thinking. My daughter holds nothing back when she prays. This was her prayer tonight: "Dear Lord, Thank you for this day. Please keep us safe from the lightning. Please love us. Please, please help us. Please help my Mommy and Daddy to be nice. In Jesus name, Amen." After she finished, I asked her, "Do you think that Mommy and Daddy are mean?" She replied, "Sometimes. And sometimes your nice." If you want the truth, ask a five year old.

Exercising Creative Authority

Yesterday I was ironing in the hallway and listening to my children playing in the next room. Those who know me will be questioning the veracity of this post because I began with, "I was ironing". Anyway, the kids were playing "Rescue Heroes". My oldest son has every one ever made and they were all on the kitchen floor. This particular episode of Rescue Heroes was sort of like Barbie meets Rambo. My oldest son (OS) was a fire chief named, "Billy Blazes". My daughter (D) was a dolphin named, "Nemo". My youngest son was, well, no one. This is how the conversation went. (Names have been left out to protect the innocent)
OS: "We've got to get out of here! Everyone get on the boat. There are sharks everywhere!"
D: "I'm not a shark, I'm a dolphin! I won't hurt you."
OS: "C, dolphins can't talk!"
D: "Oh, yes I can. I'm a talking dolphin.
OS: (moving on) "Lookout! There's a bomb in the boat!"
D: "We'll get out, but first...(breaking into song) "Do you want to go to Splashin' Safari, Splashin' Safari, Splashin' Safari)
OS: (obviously frustrated) "C!"
While this is going on, my youngest son is saying, "I want Nemo, I want Nemo, I want Nemo, I want Nemo" over and over and over and....you get it.
This reminded me of my childhood and how bossy I was with my sisters. Every last detail had to be true to life. There was no room for creativity. If you want to be creative, go play elsewhere. I was the child who never wanted a purple teddy bear. Bears weren't purple. They were white, black, or brown. My dolls had to be dressed and their hair combed. None of these ratty little hooligans with messy hair and no clothes. Dolphins certainly didn't talk.

I did enjoy listening to these funny kids. I'm amazed at how different they are. I am glad that God created them to be exactly who they are. I am so glad that God has a plan for all of our lives and that no two look the same. I am glad that my sisters still love me even after my reign as Playroom Dictator.

A Mere Observation

I only subscribe to one magazine, "Family Fun", but I do get hand-me-downs from my husband's office and a couple from his grandma. I've discovered that the editors of women's magazines really have a pretty low opinion of the American woman. According to them we:

• Are Overweight
• Are Lousy parents
• Are Bad with money
• Love to eat
• Messy
• Need help with our intimate life

You need not even open the magazine. It's all laid out for you right on the cover. "Get your Body Beach Ready in 5 Days!", "How to Behave So Your Children Will", "6 Steps to Financial Freedom", "Get Your Closet Organized in 7 Minutes", "Dinner in under 30 minutes" and the last topic will remain undiscussed as this blog is rated for general audiences. All this surrounding the "average" American Supermodel. My personal fave is the one on the cover of a fitness magazine that says "Bikini's for Every Body Type" . You open it up and every model has washboard abs. Somehow, my body type wasn't included in "every". But, I digress. I am just simply amazed at how they sell these magazines month after month. They are the exact same thing with different pictures! They put the articles about money right in the midst of all of these ads. They put the ab workout at the beginning and all of the delectable recipes at the end. But I'm on to them. I'm sure that the title, "If you Don't Have the Cash, Put it Back" wouldn't sell magazines. After all we're spending our hard-earned money buying the same magazine over and over each month!

On Butterflies and Birds

In one of my earliest posts, I made mention of a mental list I keep of questions that I will ask God when I get to Heaven. I thought of a new one the other day when my son was giving me the butterfly tutorial. His first grade class raised "Painted Lady" butterflies from eggs. I was at school the day they released the new creations. It was so cool to see these butterflies whirl around and land on one of the kids noses. They all giggled with glee. God is so creative. My son was telling me all about these butterflies on the way home. He informed me that these butterflies are poisonous to birds. If the birds eat them, they will die. This got me thinking (lookout!). This is pretty much a lose-lose situation. The butterfly gets eaten, the bird dies. There are no survivors to warn others of the impending danger. I imagined in my mind a Gary Larson cartoon (The Far Side) of birds standing around looking at a warning poster with a bird with x's over his eyes laying under a half eaten butterfly. So this question really is on behalf of my son and his concern for the birds. How do birds know not to eat the butterflies?

Cancelled Due to Lack of Interest

No, not my blog.
After reading this, any stay-at-home mom will sympathize. Anyone else will label me with two words, "OVER REACTOR". I have a handful of things that I like to do that remind me that deep down inside, "I" still exist. I love to do crafts. I won't devote an entire blog to it as I also like to bathe, eat, and sleep. My friend invited me to a "Crop Night" on Friday from 5pm-midnight. That is 7 hours of pure scrapbooking bliss! I got my permission slip signed and made the call to reserve my spot. They asked for my credit card number to reserve my spot. Wow, this must be a pretty big deal. I've never done anything like this before, so I assumed this must be an event. At this point, Friday was still a couple of days away. I was planning on which pictures I would take and when I would find the time to organize my supplies. Later on that day, I get in the car to go somewhere and I noticed that my cell phone had a voicemail. (It doesn't ring in the house out hear in the holler.) I'm driving along and I hear, "Mrs. B, we are going to cancel the crop night for Friday due to lack of interest. We hope you can join us in July!". WHAT!!! Lack of interest. I'm interested! Isn't my $10 worth anything! July? Maybe you could wait for your paycheck until July! For me, this was the equivalent of having your birthday party cancelled as a child.
Well, here it is Friday. I'm finished with my tantrum. July will be here before I know it.

When The ______ Hits the Fan!

Before you read the title and think, "Raunchy!", read on. I'm not one of those people who have lots of weird things happen in my life. I have a friend who begins every conversation with, "You're not going to believe what happened to me!" Things are pretty low key around here. After you read about my "weird thing", you'll agree. But I thought it was worth sharing. A couple of nights ago, I stayed up way past bedtime to do some testing online. When I was finished, I went to bed. I was just drifting off to sleep and I heard my daughter screaming. This is not the weird part. This is a common occurrence. I went downstairs and took her to the bathroom. I put her back to bed and went back upstairs. I crawled back into bed and thought to myself, "that fan is too loud". So I got up and turned the box fan down to low. On my way back to bed, I tripped over the "Total Gym" (which might as well be a coat hanger these days) stubbed my toe as quietly as I could so as not to wake up "Sleeping Beauty". I get back into bed again. I pull the covers up again and notice this blinking light crawling towards me. It was a really fast blink and really bright. I'm thinking, "I've never seen a lightning bug like that". I remembered that a few nights back, my husband pointed out this tiny spider on the floor that would light up every few seconds. So if that was a tiny spider that lit up, this must be a BIG spider that lit up! I sat straight up and fumbled for the light. Then, this creature flies straight up in the air, gets caught in the ceiling fan,(which sounded like an ostrich caught in the blades of a helicopter) blinking all the way, flies out of the ceiling fan and hits the box fan which sends it hurtling across the room. I felt like I was at an arcade. I had my very own Insect Pinball going on in the middle of my bedroom. I finally found the light and discovered it was only a harmless, large, disoriented, lightning bug. My husband kind of stirred and frowned when I turned on the light. Missed the show again. Back to sleep dear. All is well.