Technologically Challenged

I've been having trouble with my cell phone lately, so I called customer service and they told me to get a new "SIM" card. OK, I can do that. I go to the store and talk to the representative. By the end of my visit, I had a new "SIM" card and an unhealthy dose of inadequacy. There was a sign that read, "Tired of playing the same old games? The demo games not good enough for you? Want to learn how to play your favorite song on your phone? " and so on and so on. I am all for things having multiple uses, but isn't this out of hand? The lady was telling me that my phone can take pictures and videos that I can download, send text messages, and has internet access. My first instinct was to scream out loud, "Yes, but it is not making and receiving phone calls! After all, it is a PHONE! " But I calmly informed her that the phone shuts down in the middle of calls. The explanation of all of the different possibilities of problems was way beyond my scope of practice. Maybe I should get a carrier pigeon.