I remember being normal at one point in my life. It didn't last too long. Probably less than 2 years. Then, I became a mother. While I was pregnant, I had the same delusions that every mother-to-be has. Our new little family would be like a magazine ad. You know the ones where everyone is wearing white and they have perfect bodies, teeth, and hair. We would be smiling and looking lovingly down at our perfect bundle of joy we had created. He/she would be sleeping in their perfectly decorated nursery and would wake up smiling; eager for another day. If I could make a screeching halt noise with my computer, here is where it would be inserted. We did have our little bundle of joy, but I stayed in my pajamas for 3 months. I'm pretty sure I brushed my teeth and hair, but have no real proof. I woke up one morning, my gown soaked with milk. As soon as I picked up the baby, he peed all over me. It seems "Luvs" don't stop "Leaks". I fed him and he spit up on me. It's 7 am, I'm covered in three bodily fluids and only one belongs to me. Where are the white clothes and the perfect teeth and hair? Where's the perfect nursery? And while I'm asking, where's my perfect body I was promised if I chose to breastfeed?
Now there are three perfect bundles of joy. I am no longer delusional (atleast, about motherhood). I have realized that my children, are just that; "my" children. Not the ones in the magazine ads. I wouldn't trade them for the world. I wouldn't trade sticky kisses, my good underwear that was washed and dried with orange crayon, my Bible that my daughter decided needed some pictures, "tuckling" them in at night. I am so overwhelmed with the job I have before me. It is only because I want to do this right. God has promised me that "His grace is sufficient for me" and I believe that He will make up for my shortcomings. I am so unbelievably thankful to God for these blessings. There is no greater profession than motherhood.
Monday, April 28, 2008
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3 comments:
Wow, Kara, this is such a wonderful, well-written post. I wish I could be as clever and witty and touching and...well, this is inspiring! I love the tuckles!
TTYS - Sniz
I agree, WOW Kara, you have such talent for putting your thoughts in to words. I had to wait a few minutes before posting this comment, I couldn't see through the tears in my eyes. You are a wonderful mother, always have been, and your children are so lucky to have such a loving, caring, down to earth mom. Of course, they won't realize that until they are older and can appreciate the way you raised them, the time you took to spend doing the little things with them, and the love you have for your faith, which you are instilling in them everyday.
I thank god every day for blessing me with you, "my Friday's child", who is definitely loving and giving. You touch my heart with your postings, sometimes my funny bone, but most of the time you really make me see what a deeply loving person you really are. Love you.
This is just what I needed to read right now. I feel so overwhelmed by motherhood some days (today being one of them). Its hard to get the right perspective sometimes. Hard to remember that He gave us this "job" to care for and guide our children into adulthood... wow He must really trust us!
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