Competitive

I'm learning a great deal about myself these days. Not all of it good. Apparently, I am a sexist and a hypocrite. Great!!!That being said, I'll begin to explain the events that have lead up to this great revelation. I'm sure I will lose a few style points on this one, but after all, recognizing the problem is the first step to recovery. A little background: I am a married, mother of 3( 2 boys/1 girl), thirty-something, former college athlete. My oldest is playing tackle football for the first time this year. He is the second biggest kid on the team and what they call a "striper" (he has a stripe on his helmet that indicates he is too big to run the ball for fear he might kill/maim someone). The problem is he runs like Shaggy off of Scooby Doo, but slower. He has an unbelievably tender heart and does not have an agressive bone in his body. I get so frustrated with him just out there messing around. I cannot watch practices because I'm afraid I will be charged with "facemasking" or "unnecessary roughness". It has brought out this primal instinct in me. I have to fight every urge not to yell, "Come on!" and "Hustle". The 'h' word is not in the vocabulary. I'm not one of those parents who thinks my son is going to be my meal ticket and get a college scholarship (this pretty much confirms it), but I do expect my children to give 100% effort. My mother-in-law was at one of my son's football games and was talking about how much my youngest son loves to dance and sing (he's 2). She said that we should think about putting him in tap dancing or ballet. I muttered under my breath (or so I thought) "Over my dead body!" She was appalled and called me a sexist. She explained to me that there is nothing effeminate about tap dancing and ballet. I have a male friend who does clogging, which is similar but he doesn't use "jazz hands". I have never once considered clogging effeminate. I also know a couple of male ballet dancers and I don't think they are effeminate. I'm not sure what my problem is. The third and most condemning piece of evidence came about earlier this week. My husband and I were watching, "America's Got Talent". The performer was a male baton twirler. Impressive, yes. Would I want my son to take it up? No.
Now comes the reason I'm a hypocrite. I played on the boy's baseball team in high school because my school did not have a fast pitch softball team and I wanted to play in college. I never once thought that anyone would question my femininity/sexuality.
Before I lose all style points, I will clarify this for you. I love my children intensely and will not be disappointed if they choose music/art over sports. As long as they don't pick up a baton. Unless it's in the 400M relay!