Motherhood

I remember being normal at one point in my life. It didn't last too long. Probably less than 2 years. Then, I became a mother. While I was pregnant, I had the same delusions that every mother-to-be has. Our new little family would be like a magazine ad. You know the ones where everyone is wearing white and they have perfect bodies, teeth, and hair. We would be smiling and looking lovingly down at our perfect bundle of joy we had created. He/she would be sleeping in their perfectly decorated nursery and would wake up smiling; eager for another day. If I could make a screeching halt noise with my computer, here is where it would be inserted. We did have our little bundle of joy, but I stayed in my pajamas for 3 months. I'm pretty sure I brushed my teeth and hair, but have no real proof. I woke up one morning, my gown soaked with milk. As soon as I picked up the baby, he peed all over me. It seems "Luvs" don't stop "Leaks". I fed him and he spit up on me. It's 7 am, I'm covered in three bodily fluids and only one belongs to me. Where are the white clothes and the perfect teeth and hair? Where's the perfect nursery? And while I'm asking, where's my perfect body I was promised if I chose to breastfeed?
Now there are three perfect bundles of joy. I am no longer delusional (atleast, about motherhood). I have realized that my children, are just that; "my" children. Not the ones in the magazine ads. I wouldn't trade them for the world. I wouldn't trade sticky kisses, my good underwear that was washed and dried with orange crayon, my Bible that my daughter decided needed some pictures, "tuckling" them in at night. I am so overwhelmed with the job I have before me. It is only because I want to do this right. God has promised me that "His grace is sufficient for me" and I believe that He will make up for my shortcomings. I am so unbelievably thankful to God for these blessings. There is no greater profession than motherhood.

All Before 10 AM

All before 10 AM today:

My oldest wrote a story

My daughter cut her own hair with scissors I left out.

My baby pooped in the potty for the first time and shredded half a roll of toilet paper.

Just things I wanted to remember about today.

Seek Professional Help

This is an adjunct to "Replace All Divots"

"Get that kid a haircut!"

"That boy needs a haircut!"

These are statements I've been hearing for a couple of months now. I realize that it needs done, but I'm hesitant to do so. For one, he's the baby. Two, he's the only one of my children to have any hair to speak of before age 2.

mul-let: "hairstyle short on top and long in back." online etymology dictionary

Once this terminology was used, I had no choice. I was looking at his blonde curls from behind. Beautiful....if you're a girl. I was at my parent's house, so I asked my mom if she had any scissors I could use. I'm not usually so impulsive, but I thought, "how hard can it be?" When will I learn? Afterward, I couldn't look at the poor child without conjuring up images from "Dumb and Dumber". My husband came home and said to me, "What happened here?" and then quoted a line from the movie, "Dumb and Dumber". I was hoping he wouldn't notice. Oh well!

All's well that ends well. The professionals at "Cookie Cutters" fixed my disaster.